Sometime ago, I interviewed for a company (which will remain nameless). After spending a good amount of time discussing developer relations—a topic which is dear to me—with their community manager (which happened to be a woman), I went back to the team’s area. There, their lead engineer—to which I had barely been introduced—casually mentioned “we must have done more than a quickie” given how much time we had spend away. Frankly, I was so taken aback by the comment I didn’t do much more than raise my eyebrows in disbelief. Luckily(?) the community manager wasn’t there to hear it.
I rejected their offer for a number of reasons, but the main one was by far that I couldn’t stomach the idea of working in such a toxic environment.
In retrospect, I wonder what I should have done differently. Firmly voiced my disapproval on the spot? Stated the reasons why I rejected the offer afterwards? Talked to said engineer in private. I’m unsure.
Update: some of you pointed out that the issue wasn’t so much how inappropriate the comment was, but what it said about the company’s culture. I cannot agree more. Makes bringing it up to management/HR kind of pointless, though.